Realness.

I've recently been so turned off by people that only want to talk about how to grow, how to be better, how to love better, be more joyful, etc in every conversation (I guess I should say they want to talk to others about how to change). Possibly it's me being ridiculous, possibly it's me being allowed to see it from an unbelievers perspective. Whatever it is, what I'm learning is that people need to see realness and experience grace.

So here's something to know about me. I love Jesus (have you not gathered that from my blog, I have failed). But here are some other things to help you know that I am real:

1. I got angry this week. Angry. I had to work through it over a two-day period. I knew I was being ridiculous.
2. Sometimes I'm extremely insecure. Sometimes I'm extremely confident. Sometimes I'm in the middle.
3. I love to go see romantic movies, comedies, suspense movies. But not scary or horror movies. NO. And occasionally I watch a "R" movie, although I know it can affect my purity, my thoughts, my language - I have to weigh this out and determine if it's worth seeing the movie.
4. I love to dance like a wild woman when Rihanna comes on my iPod. Well, not just Rihanna, any good music with a beat.
5. I struggle with being single.
6. My big brother calls me everyday, and greets me by saying "Hey Ho". I am not a ho. But this is his term of endearment for me.
7. I have to work on my tone with my mom. It's gotten a ton better, but if we discuss money, I fire up.

Needless to say, those are just a few real things about me. Just because I do them, say them or think them doesn't mean I don't know that I need to change. I'm being real. I am not perfect. I am challenged by my shortcomings daily. Hear that. Just because I love to talk about the goodness of grace and love does not mean sometimes I wonder just how HE could love ME so much for I am but a filthy rag.

Hope it lets you see a little more of me. My heart is dark, yet He loves it the same.

So much more...

One of the youth ministers at my church just tweeted this and it challenged me: "Eternal Life is so much more than going to heaven. It is the pursuit and the knowing.... JOHN 17:3"

Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. John 17:3

Heaven and Hell.

Just got done talking to someone about Heaven and Hell. Jesus as the Messiah. What happens when we die.

He said he thinks often about where he will go when he dies. But He's unsure. He asked me what I believed hell was like. He said He believes that Jesus was real, but can't believe He is the Messiah.

He is skeptical. He said "I'd believe if an angel appeared to me and revealed to me that it is real". I told him I'd pray that Jesus himself would come face-to-face with him and let him see.

Please join me. Power of the prayer of the saints can make a blind man see.

Pray for a miracle to happen.

Sunday's coming.

It's Friday but Sunday's coming! from Pinelake Church on Vimeo.

The Real Face of Jesus.

So yesterday I was sitting out on my parents porch, enjoying the oh-so-beautiful Easter day until my dad turned it on the "The Real Face of Jesus" on the History channel. Not wanting to watch, I left to play ball with the dogs in the back yard.

You see, I am so skeptical of shows about Jesus. I think oftentimes people make believe Jesus into their own story, with their own conclusions, and disregard scripture.

I talked to my dad once about the life of a believer. The conversation went much like this:

Me: So, Dad, you really have to have alotta faith to believe in something that is unseen. Stuff from a long time ago, in a book, right?
D: Yes. You do. What has you thinking about this?
Me: Oh, I don't know. I just think sometimes I am challenged to think harder and search harder about why I believe what I do.
D: Sweetheart, you know the only way to squash that wander is to read scripture...that is how God reveals himself.
Me: Oh, I know dad. I know.
D: And why wouldn't you believe in a faith that teaches you to love others. To feed the hungry, to give to the poor. To love the lepers.

SHEESH. The last sentence my dad said explains it all. WHY WOULDN'T YOU?! This faith is built on love. LOVE.

So back to the show. I came in from playing with the dogs and sat down to watch this show, unwillingly of course.

The facts were concrete. The information was legit. This group of people had taken what appeared to be the shroud of Christ, and analyzed it to see what could be the face of Christ.

The main scientist believed! HE BELIEVED IN CHRIST from his study. From the information he had gathered and the dimensional work he had done. I had chills all over my body listening to this man talk. He was a scientist. HE BELIEVED IN JESUS. (To see more pictures from the show, click here.)

And then they revealed the face of Christ (insert still scepticism) - and the face was precious. It was beautiful. The eyes were full of grace, mercy, love. He looked Mediterranean. It seemed legit. I teared up. It was absolutely amazing.

I had a moment of sweet thoughts thinking about the day that I will see him face-to-face. The moment that I am emptied from my earthly body to live in the heavenly realms. He will be full of grace and love, mercy and kindness. His eyes will capture my heart all over again. I believe with everything that is within me that one day He will come get me.

Do you? Read Luke 16:19-31. My heart breaks to think that anyone suffers like the rich young man.

What a Beautiful Friday.

Today is Good Friday. The day that Jesus died some thousand years ago. The day that He was crushed for our sins and the punishment that was upon him brought us peace. The day when he was separated from God for you and for me. The day when he became a leper so that we wouldn't have to be.

The veil was torn, and it was finished. Done.

He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

⁴ Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.

⁵ But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

⁶ We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.

⁷ He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before her shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.

⁸ By oppression ^a]">[a] and judgment he was taken away.
And who can speak of his descendants?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
for the transgression of my people he was stricken. ^b]">[b]

⁹ He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
nor was any deceit in his mouth.

¹⁰ Yet it was the LORD's will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
and though the LORD makes ^c]">[c] his life a guilt offering,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.

¹¹ After the suffering of his soul,
he will see the light of life ^d]">[d] and be satisfied ^e]">[e] ;
by his knowledge ^f]">[f] my righteous servant will justify many,
and he will bear their iniquities.

Appreciating where you are.

It's so easy to hope for the next thing. To live for the next trip. To hope for the person you will marry.

But is that the way we should live? Hmmm. Something to think about. We are to live with a hope of what is to come, for sure, but is that in the form of trips, people, etc.? It says in proverbs that a hope deferred makes the heart sick but a longing fulfilled is the tree of life.

So it is not wrong to hope, and wait in expectation, as long as it does not take over our hope in what is to come to SAVE us. And as long as we understand that a deferment of that hope can make us sick. Physically and Spiritually.

With that said, I decided this morning to put on jeans and walk through the grove in Oxford. We are up here for meetings, and I had memories flood me. Overwhelm me, to a degree. It's beautiful, it's spring, it's cool. It's perfect. Literally. The spring in Oxford is one of the best things ever.

I realized that when I was in school here I always hoped for what was to come. To be looking past where I was, and wondering what was next. And I missed it. I took this place so for granted. I took my friends so for granted.

It made me think about where I am and living as if each day is my last. Will definitely give me so much more appreciation for every phase of my life, and will make me stop wishing away where I am.