This past week has been a trying week to say the least. Nothing is "bad" wrong, but the reality of what is going on within me saddens my heart.
I had to go to the emergency room Monday due to great pain in my abdomen. I figured appendix or gallbladder but it was neither. It was the same disease the world-known doctor diagnosed me with when I was 15, but I chose to believe he did not know what he was talking about.
The ER doctor was a saint, and after many test confirmed my suspicions (after all, we all know when something is not right within us, even if we choose not to believe). I was good. I was collected. He left the room...and I wept.
"Mom, I don't understand. I don't understand why I have to have this condition that will stay with me. I don't understand why Brad had to have epilepsy. Why are we both afflicted with health challenges that cannot be "fixed"?"
And the Lord so gently reminded me of my brother in his first year of his neurology residency - pediatric, at that.
"My child, some things are not meant for you to understand. Do not worry. Trust me. I allow these things to come to you because you are mine and I believe in you. This is so that you can experience My sufferings, and learn to be more like me and be sanctified. Allow it to challenge you, but know that I am with you, so do not let it take over you. Let me show you and remind me of my love for you. I just want to pursue your heart and heal the pain. And remember...one day, I will make you whole. Perfect."
I am Royalty. A child of the loving God: His treasured possession.
Taste and See that the Lord is Good.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
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