Realness.

I've recently been so turned off by people that only want to talk about how to grow, how to be better, how to love better, be more joyful, etc in every conversation (I guess I should say they want to talk to others about how to change). Possibly it's me being ridiculous, possibly it's me being allowed to see it from an unbelievers perspective. Whatever it is, what I'm learning is that people need to see realness and experience grace.

So here's something to know about me. I love Jesus (have you not gathered that from my blog, I have failed). But here are some other things to help you know that I am real:

1. I got angry this week. Angry. I had to work through it over a two-day period. I knew I was being ridiculous.
2. Sometimes I'm extremely insecure. Sometimes I'm extremely confident. Sometimes I'm in the middle.
3. I love to go see romantic movies, comedies, suspense movies. But not scary or horror movies. NO. And occasionally I watch a "R" movie, although I know it can affect my purity, my thoughts, my language - I have to weigh this out and determine if it's worth seeing the movie.
4. I love to dance like a wild woman when Rihanna comes on my iPod. Well, not just Rihanna, any good music with a beat.
5. I struggle with being single.
6. My big brother calls me everyday, and greets me by saying "Hey Ho". I am not a ho. But this is his term of endearment for me.
7. I have to work on my tone with my mom. It's gotten a ton better, but if we discuss money, I fire up.

Needless to say, those are just a few real things about me. Just because I do them, say them or think them doesn't mean I don't know that I need to change. I'm being real. I am not perfect. I am challenged by my shortcomings daily. Hear that. Just because I love to talk about the goodness of grace and love does not mean sometimes I wonder just how HE could love ME so much for I am but a filthy rag.

Hope it lets you see a little more of me. My heart is dark, yet He loves it the same.